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| Los Angeles Cast with Authors
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Reno Artown Cast
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Off Broadway Cast
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HOWARD: Hey lady! Need a dog? You look like you could use a dog!
MILDRED: Hey lady, I don't shed! Well, only on the floor and bed!
SOPHIE: Me, lady, look at me!
GUS: A watch dog lady! Wanna see?
(strikes a watchful pose)
ALL BUT OZZIE: TAKE ME HOME!
TAKE ME HOME!
TAKE ME-
(the DOOR CLOSES)
-HOME.
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SPEAGLE: THERE'S NO WATER IN THE BOWL!
AND THE KIBBLE TASTES LIKE COAL!
AND I REALLY WISH THAT I WAS OUT!
MILDRED: AND THE FLOOR IS HARD AS ROCK!
AND I'D KILL JUST FOR A SOCK!
HOWARD: WHICH YOU'LL NEVER GET UNTIL YOU'RE OUT!
SOPHIE: IN ANOTHER MINUTE I WILL CLIMB THESE WALLS
IF NO ONE CALLS MY NAME!
ALL: SO YOU BETTER SAY GOODBYE 'CAUSE I AM GETTIN' OUT! |
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SOPHIE: Fetching. It's a people thing, you know.
(Ozzie, breathing hard, stops fetching)
HOWARD: It is, son. They throw things, we get them.
OZZIE: Why do people throw stuff?
SOPHIE: Because they can.
HOWARD: Such an odd thing, isn't it? Throwing bits of wood and such.
SPIEGAL: Mine used to throw dishes. Plastic dishes.
(The shadow of a Frisbee glides by)
For hours. He'd toss it up and somehow it'd just glide through the air. Hmmm. Course, I'd keep bringin' it back, and he'd clap and laugh like he'd done somethin' special. This went on and on and on-
SOPHIE: So why'd you keep bringing it back?
SPIEGAL: Well, he just seemed to get such a kick out of it.
MILDRED: You know, they don't see in color.
OZZIE: They don't?
MILDRED: Everything's in black and white.
SOPHIE: That explains a lot.
HOWARD: People. Such curious creatures. You look at them and you think- What's going on in that little head? How much do they really understand?
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SOPHIE: I AM A SHOW DOG!
AND A SHOW DOG MUST GO ON!
WHEN YOU'RE A SHOW DOG
WHEN YOU'RE THE PAMPERED PARAGON
THEN EVERY DETAIL DOWN TO YOUR TAIL
IS EITHER MOUSSED OR MADE SOFT
IS EITHER CLIPPED OFF OR COIFED...
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SOPHIE: If he only knew, he'd come for me. He'd find me. He'd take me home. |
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OZZIE: Howard, you alright?
HOWARD: I always have the same dream. I'm having puppies. Actually having them.
(a beat)
It hurts. I endeavor to hold them, to gather them to me, but they scamper away. They always scamper away.
(Howard starts to gently weep, Ozzie
sits down by him, clumsily pats him)
We are not solitary creatures, son. Being alone, we are not good at it. We're even born in crowds.
OZZIE: You got Babydog.
HOWARD: (looking hard at Babydog) Yes, but one can only expect so much comfort from a... Babydog. |
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